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Mindfulness
You as a priority
Mindfulness as a mum can seem like an oxymoron, especially when having neurodivergent children can often feel like a you're riding the carosel at the local fair... music blaring, flashing lights, moving parts, children screaming... an assault on the senses. Add in the potential that you yourself may also have ADHD (but who has time for a diagnosis) and mindfulness can seem like a down right laugh!
I'm here to tell you, it is possible!
1. Start your day out right
I once read this perfect article where they suggested that you get up an hour before your children, stretch, journal, make yourself a coffee and take an hour for yourself... I don't think that mum had a neurodivergetnt child who had been up since 5 climbing on the kitchen bench to get a dopamine hit from whatever sugary treats he could find on the top of the shelves. While that sounds AMAZING, what I realised I could do, was wake and spend five minutes intentionally breathing and stretching under the covers. Mentally count your blessings and set your intentions for the day... you've got this mumma!
2. Focus 100%
It is so easy as a mother to find yourself multi tasking every minute of the day... one pot on the boil, your child's homework open on the bench while listening to the retelling of how 'bush walk' went today at kindy for the 10th time from an excited toddler. That is no always avoidable, but it can make you feel burnt out and anxious, before long the food is wrong, the home work is burnt and you find yourself yelling 'enough' at the excited wide eyed toddler. I want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry just thinking about this scenario.
Years ago I would often attempt to work and mum at the same time, I quickly realised that one or both suffered for it... so what is the solution? Focus 100%! whatever you do, give it your whole focus...
If your child needs help with their homework, sit down and help them, it will be done quicker and they will love that you gave them your undivided attention for ten minutes. If you need to cook dinner, cook dinner (grab a glass of wine) or even better still, allow yourself meal prep time to reduce the time spent doing this task in the evenings. If your toddler wants to recount his adventures, try reflecting on what he has told you and repeating parts of it, he will feel heard and you will be able to move on to other tasks. Finally when you need to work, explain to your children (and spouse) that you will need the next *insert time here* to do some work and that you can address their needs after.
3. Have a knock off time
You wouldn't allow your employer to chase you into the company car park and ask you to do extra work after you finished for the day (and if you are doing that, that is a whole other conversation), so don't allow your kids.
I have set an intentionally boundary for my children... They all have various, age appropriate bed times, but after 7.30, I am no longer available to them about the menial stuff. This stops the bedtime avoidance memory reboot, allows me to switch off mentally and have a moment when I'm not someone's mum. I can use this time to stretch, sleep, watch netflix, have a glass of wine, talk to my husband... It is my time.
I'm here to tell you, it is possible!
1. Start your day out right
I once read this perfect article where they suggested that you get up an hour before your children, stretch, journal, make yourself a coffee and take an hour for yourself... I don't think that mum had a neurodivergetnt child who had been up since 5 climbing on the kitchen bench to get a dopamine hit from whatever sugary treats he could find on the top of the shelves. While that sounds AMAZING, what I realised I could do, was wake and spend five minutes intentionally breathing and stretching under the covers. Mentally count your blessings and set your intentions for the day... you've got this mumma!
2. Focus 100%
It is so easy as a mother to find yourself multi tasking every minute of the day... one pot on the boil, your child's homework open on the bench while listening to the retelling of how 'bush walk' went today at kindy for the 10th time from an excited toddler. That is no always avoidable, but it can make you feel burnt out and anxious, before long the food is wrong, the home work is burnt and you find yourself yelling 'enough' at the excited wide eyed toddler. I want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry just thinking about this scenario.
Years ago I would often attempt to work and mum at the same time, I quickly realised that one or both suffered for it... so what is the solution? Focus 100%! whatever you do, give it your whole focus...
If your child needs help with their homework, sit down and help them, it will be done quicker and they will love that you gave them your undivided attention for ten minutes. If you need to cook dinner, cook dinner (grab a glass of wine) or even better still, allow yourself meal prep time to reduce the time spent doing this task in the evenings. If your toddler wants to recount his adventures, try reflecting on what he has told you and repeating parts of it, he will feel heard and you will be able to move on to other tasks. Finally when you need to work, explain to your children (and spouse) that you will need the next *insert time here* to do some work and that you can address their needs after.
3. Have a knock off time
You wouldn't allow your employer to chase you into the company car park and ask you to do extra work after you finished for the day (and if you are doing that, that is a whole other conversation), so don't allow your kids.
I have set an intentionally boundary for my children... They all have various, age appropriate bed times, but after 7.30, I am no longer available to them about the menial stuff. This stops the bedtime avoidance memory reboot, allows me to switch off mentally and have a moment when I'm not someone's mum. I can use this time to stretch, sleep, watch netflix, have a glass of wine, talk to my husband... It is my time.